Yearnings of the Heart
by EnglishPoet18
Summary: Oneshot for the One True Love Prompt. Lax/Isa fic I own nothing from Hello Herman.


**Hello all! This oneshot comes from a prompt that I'm participating in where we were asked to pick any character Norman has ever played and have them express their love to their one true love in 2500 words or less. I have chosen "Lax Morales" from "Hello Herman". If you haven't seen the movie, I urge you to do so. Norman plays a very wonderful role in it and the movie has a wonderful message. There are SPOILERS in here for those who haven't seen the movie, so proceed with caution. **

**You can also find this and all of the other wonderful stories being submitted under the "community" tab here on the site. www dot fanfiction dot net/community/Reedus-s-One-True-Love-Challenge/112219/3/0/1/. ****Don't forget to change the rating to 'M' to see all of the stories listed. **

**I would love to hear your feedback...Thanks for reading! **

...

Lax was jolted from a deep sleep by the sudden crack of thunder, his heart beating fast from the sudden intrusion to his first restful slumber in two years. Rubbing his eyes with the palms of his hands he sat up on the edge of the bed, his eyes falling to the photo of Isa that graced his nightstand. He rubbed a hand through his hair and stared at her picture, her beautiful smile bringing comfort to his soul.

She would never know why he hadn't called her upon his return from Georgia and his investigation into the KKK. She would never know because he wouldn't tell her and as much as he wanted to, he couldn't be with her anymore. Working in Georgia had opened his eyes to the fact that there were indeed worse things than death, like losing the ones you love. He couldn't ever let that happen. Granted no one from there knew his real name. They only knew him as Vic Bishop, but Lax wasn't taking any chances.

He was miserable without her though. Every time he turned on the TV to the news there she was, like God was trying to punish him for Jerome Johnson all over again. Lax hadn't wanted to beat on that boy, he really hadn't. Every night in his dreams he tried to warn the boy to take a different route or wait just ten more minutes before passing through, _anything, _but the outcome was always the same.

Except tonight. He hadn't dreamed of Jerome tonight and he wondered if part of that was due to the fact that he no longer tried to deny or shove under the rug his involvement in that. The truth of the matter was, he _hadn't_ killed that boy, but he hadn't stopped it either. That was probably why the story of Herman Howard had struck such a chord with him. Although their situations were different, the two of them were somewhat similar as well. They had both hurt people, been the victims of bad circumstances.

Lax wasn't justifying Herman's actions in any way. What the kid had done was wrong, but bullying was also wrong and there wasn't enough light being shed on the situation to let people see the ugly truth. Bullying was still abuse even if it wasn't physical. He knew as well as anyone how much certain things could haunt you, eat at you until you just wanted to lose your mind. Herman may not have handled his anger in the right way, but Lax could very well sympathize with the kid for feeling the way he had. The world was a fucked up place sometimes.

Blowing out a long breath of air, he stood up, rolling his shoulders to loosen his muscles as he made his way to the bathroom. The clock on the wall told him that it was four-thirty in the morning and he knew he wouldn't ever fall back asleep. He relieved himself in the bathroom and made his way into the small kitchen just big enough for one. Starting the coffee pot, he switched on the small TV that sat on the kitchen counter to the news while he waited.

Just like he knew it would, her picture popped onto the screen after a few minutes and he stared longingly at the screen. He ached to touch her, to tell her everything. How had his life become so consumed by the next story? Why had he taken that assignment in Georgia? The one person that understood him, the one person that he truly _loved_ was now unattainable.

Grabbing himself a coffee mug he poured a cup of the steaming black liquid, sipping the caffeine into his veins. He paid no attention to the story that she discussed as he studied her. She looked as beautiful as ever. It had only been six months since the Herman Howard story and that had been the last time that he had seen her and every day he missed her and wondered if she was seeing anyone.

His emails were constantly flooded with all sorts of people asking him for advice or wanting him to tell their story now. He usually clicked delete without giving it a second thought, his mind just needing a break from all of the demands of the journalist world. Most of the emails now were just people thinking that by being on TV they could become famous, but that wasn't how the world worked.

He glanced back up at the television, some random cheesy commercial was blasting across the screen. Muting it, he refilled his coffee and went to sit at his computer. Glancing through his emails he barely blinked at most of them before finally closing the application. Drumming his fingers across the desk he sighed, his eyes staring at the screen several minutes before it hit him.

Today was Valentine's Day.

…...

All day it nagged at him. The one day you were supposed to spend showing your one true love how much you really cared for them and he was sitting in his apartment alone. He longed to go to her and beg her forgiveness, tell her everything and hope that in the end it would all work out. He couldn't though. If he went back to her and shit hit the fan, she could get caught in the crossfire. He wouldn't have another death on his conscience, not her. He would rather die first.

Picking up his phone he tapped it against his leg for several minutes, chewing on his lip as he thought about what to say to her. He felt like he needed to call her, to touch base with her and let her know that he was thinking about her at the very least. He missed her.

Part of him was scared though, scared that if he called her she would turn him away or she would be seeing someone. He knew that it was inevitable that she would see someone eventually, he couldn't expect her to stay single and pine away for him forever. That still didn't stop his stomach from churning every time he thought of her in another man's arms though.

Taking a deep breath, he punched in the number that was forever ingrained into his brain. He doodled mindlessly on a notepad in front of him while he listened to the ringing. Just as he was sure her voicemail was going to pick up, she answered.

"Hello?"

"Isa. It's Lax."

Silence. He waited, unsure if she would just hang up in his face. He knew she was still there because he could hear muffled noises in the background.

"I...I just wanted to check in and see how you were doing," he said.

There was a sigh from her end.

"It's been six months Lax. You call this checking in?" Isa asked.

Lax ran a hand through his hair and released a deep breath of air.

"I know. Time got away from me. I was thinking about you this morning and then I saw that it was Valentine's Day and-"

"And what Lax? Did you call to ask me on a date? Or tell me that I'm your one true love?" Her voice sounded slightly shaky and he closed his eyes, gripping the phone tighter.

"No, I just- I just wanted to hear your voice...I miss you," he said softly.

Another long silence, "I miss you too Lax."

And there it was. The corners of his mouth lifted slightly, a tiny sliver of hope creeping into his mind. She hadn't fully given up on him. If she missed him then she still thought about him and she must still love him. The thought lifted his mood considerably. He wanted to touch her, but he knew that it was impossible.

"You have plans for Valentine's Day?" he asked.

"No...Do you?"

"No, no plans."

She didn't offer up any more input and Lax scrambled for something to say that wouldn't make him sound like the idiot that he was currently feeling like.

"I'm thinking of doing a special blog for the show later. Will you watch?" he asked her.

Isa sighed, "I always watch your show Lax. Of course I'll be watching."

Knowing that she had watched all of his shows made his heart skip a beat. One day. Maybe one day he could have her back.

He searched his brain for more to say, but came up empty. He longed to tell her everything and have nothing between them again, but he just couldn't.

"Well I know you're busy so I guess I'll let you get back to work," he said.

"You take care of yourself Lax. Don't let your demons rule you. You're stronger than you give yourself credit for," She said softly.

"You too and I'm working on it."

"Bye Lax."

He could hear voices in the background and he knew he had been right about her being busy.

"Bye Isa."

He stayed on the line until she disconnected the call and then he hung up, erasing the number from his call history. He knew it was silly, but at the same time he couldn't stop himself from taking the precaution every time. He had her number memorized and didn't need to store it into his phone anyway.

Placing his phone onto the counter, he made his way back over to his desk, preparing himself for his video blog later.

...

Lax waited for the software to connect, his video feed all set up and ready to go. Knowing that she was watching had made him slightly nervous and he hoped that it didn't show when he began to speak. He watched as the indicator light blinked to red to tell him that it was recording and he announced himself and the show as he normally did.

Leaning back into his chair, he began to speak,

"_So today is Valentine's Day, the one day that we all spend searching for that perfect way to show that one special person how much we care. But why? Why only pick one day out of the year to do that? What makes that one day so much more special than say any other random day? You run around at the last minute, seeking the perfect gift or maybe you get the same gift every year. Regardless, the whole idea is to show that one person how much you care." _

Lax stared at the blinking red light, imagining Isa's face instead, staring back at him. He smiled lightly.

_"Today I urge you to show that person how much you care, not just today, but everyday. We shouldn't need a special holiday to tell those we care about that we love them. After all, we might not always have that chance. So here's my challenge: Pick a random day out of each month and do something special for those you love. Write them a letter, call them up on the phone, take them out on the town, do a video blog...Time is valuable and we don't get that time back. Make your own traditions, spice it up and let me know how it works out for you."_

Lax paused and rubbed his chin, hoping that Isa understood the meaning behind his words. He imagined her sitting at her desk, her jet black hair shining in the light like it always had. His heart belonged to her and he may not be able to physically show her, but he would tell her as often as he could, for the rest of his life.

_"Thanks for joining in. I'm Lax Morales...signing off."_

...


End file.
